3 posts tagged “port st. lucie”
He arrived a couple of days before the workshop was to start, and I did my best to show him the beautiful beaches, rivers, old downtown sections and the like that are not far from here in Stuart and Jensen Beach. Weather was hot with bright blue skies and was perfect for putting the top down and enjoying what South Florida excels in, stunning weather.
The workshop started on Thursday with an introduction to design principles; aka what makes for interesting images, complete with assignments and image critique. Friday we had an excursion to the Morikami Gardens to put some of what we learned into practice. When we returned in the afternoon we had a chance to see Lightroom in action, and I decided to start using it in postprocessing my images. Saturday was when (for me at least) the workshop became even more fun, as we focused on portrait photography and in the afternoon, we had a model come in so that we could play in a real studio setting. This was for me the highlight and I got a number of images I was very pleased with. The model was someone I know who's asked me to do a portrait of her but we'd not been able to get schedules to coordinate, so perhaps it was a bit less intimidating to interact with her. That is the one part of portrait photography I feel I need the most help with, this letting down of my guard, this connecting with a subject so they can relax, so that I can capture them in a natural way. I know I get nervous, concerned they'll realise that sometimes it's me just acting as though I know what I'm doing and I'll get caught out, even though I know they can't see this. (even if they did, it wouldn't matter) I know that if I want to be good at portrait photography that this is a skill I must hone - that is, if I want images that are more than just straightforward, standard portrait fare. I've posted one below as an example. I love her lovely skin, the shape of her eyes and her beautiful lips and she was not difficult to get to look very pretty.
Having been doing much more than my usual amount of reading lately (as am working on two "good" books at a time just now), it just might be I'm a bit more introspective than usual. But tonight, as I was trying out a new local Asian fusion bistro and experimenting with their Vietnamese items, I started thinking as I sat there in its dark moody atmosphere.
Earlier in the day I'd been driving around some of the very twee and trendy neighborhoods, made to look very much like some kind of sanitised small town springing up around here, meant to cajole affluent families to buy so they can be near the new WalMart, Home Depot, Sports Authority, Target and other chain stores under construction. And I found myself daydreaming of a life in one of them, so warm and cozy it seemed happiness was emanating from it. Oh, if I could just live in a little townhouse, set up a studio there, make friends, meet someone, not be alone, have a pet cat, work in a secure and well-paying job, THEN I'd be completely happy and satisfied and not have this nagging desire for who knows what.
It was then I had to smack myself (figuratively speaking) with a GET WITH IT, YOU IDIOT!!!! That will not make you happy. A house will not make you happy. A job will not make you happy. Love will not make you happy. The responsibility for being happy lies solely and squarely on MY shoulders. And that I must choose, right this moment, to be happy, right in the middle of the mess, not relying on something or someone to bring it about. This is something I do tend to do, but at times I wander from the path, falling prey to the fantasy that happiness is attainable with something or someone. Foolish me!
When I first moved into this house in Port St. Lucie, I decided not to settle in. Just a comfy bed, a tiny table for my computer, a table to eat at. Bare essentials. Six towels. A handful of dishes. A cheap TV. Knowing it was for sale, and that it would not be my home permanently, I wanted to rest lightly so that I would be glad to leave when the time came. No roots.
But today, as I returned to the house after visiting my friends a bit down south in Wellington, I realised I had, unfortunately, come to love the house. The forest in the back with all manner of wild animals and birds who come to visit me from time to time. The feel of spaciousness. The light that makes it feel like a happy place to be.
I had tried to protect myself from loving. And I have failed, utterly failed. I don't know how much longer I will be here. But I know that when I do leave, it will hurt like hell. Damn. I guess safety is an illusion after all!
