6 posts tagged “doug”
And okay, we've finally crossed the line and regularly use "the L word". The first time, he whispered it in my ear as we sat in my kitchen, the place we most often gather, cooking meals or just talking about our day. And I sat bolt upright, and made him say it again because we'd held back in saying it for what felt like a hundred years. It's been so long since I've said, "I love you" except to my friends, it felt quite dangerous. And yes, to me, it carries a lot of weight to say it. It's a commitment, and one I hope will be for many, many years. I know it might be foolish for me to think in those terms. It might be. I hope not. I would love to be right in believing that there still are good men out there, men you can't help but want to spend the forseeable, and not-so-forseeable, future with. He is one of those, if they exist.
Next weekend is our first getaway together. We found a suitably upscale hotel not very far away, and I can't wait to have him all to myself for an entire weekend, instead of just parts of it. More to come...
This week I had a tiny windfall in my budget, and because I'd not allowed myself any treats in several months, Doug and I did a bit of shopping for fun on Saturday. We meandered around World Market and got a few imported sodas and snacks (nothing special there this time and I could tell they've cut back on inventory somewhat), then over to Ulta, where I bought some new eyeshadows and experimented with perfume (right now I'm loving Armani Code, but am not sure so didn't buy it yet). Of course we had to make a stop at Target to grocery shop and there I bought "Amelie", which is one of those movies I've wished I had for years but had not gotten around to buying it before. Can't wait to watch it with Doug, as he's not seen it before. And my big purchase of the day was a lovely, shiny chrome toaster! One of the highlights of our weekends is sitting down at my rarely used table and having a very leisurely breakfast of scrambled eggs, sausage, perhaps grits, and dark grainy Pepperidge Farm German Dark Wheat bread, and last week I was bemoaning the fact that by the time I get to eating my toast, with its butter and blackberry jam it's stone cold. I remembered how, when I was a kid and I was spending time at my grandparents' home in Rose Hill, NC, my granddaddy had a toaster stationed within arm's reach of the table, thereby eliminating The Frigid Toast Problem. Thus the purchase of aforementioned toaster. I will feel like a very rich woman indeed to have hot, crunchy, buttered toast at the table and I can't wait to try it out!
It's a strange thing, this building a relationship. Strange and wonderful of course, but for me, uncharted territory because it's been since I was in college, waaay back in the Dark Ages while dinosaurs walked the earth that I've been through this. Of course these days I'm a much different person than that innocent, trusting girl who married the first (and only) man who asked me because of wanting to make him happy and who stayed too long because I had made a promise.
Two weekends ago Doug and I decided that seeing each other a couple of times a week simply wasn't enough, and we started to spend our weekends together. Now this was a big change for me, as I've lived alone for over three years, but I've gotta say that first Saturday morning when I could get up and pull the first espresso shots for us, and fossick around the refrigerator for breakfast fixings for us, that I felt this incredible lightness and satisfaction I don't ever remember feeling. It seems we are like two trees, whose leafy tendrils reach toward each other, who are becoming more intertwined as time passes.
And now we are doing what I see other couples I know doing. Having a romantic Italian dinner out in a busy and crowded restaurant. Running to Home Depot for him. Going to the mall for me. Having a blast at the local gourmet market experimenting with and buying unknown cheeses. Putting together a yummy dinner and learning the joy of cooking being a team effort.
And the strange thing is that the more we're together, the more I miss him when he's away.
Since it's been over 30 years since I've started a relationship, it seems every new thing is a revelation to me, and I often feel like I'm experiencing it for the first time (and sometimes I am doing just that). Like missing someone. Doug has been on vacation since last Friday, and he took an extended weekend to do the family bonding thing with his older sister and younger brother. And though we kept in touch via numerous texts, and by talking every night too, when I finally did see him on Tuesday night after a verrrry long drive through the flooding in the Atlanta area I was nearly in tears I missed him so much!
Yesterday he took it upon himself (without my suggesting it or saying a word) to do a home improvement project at my apartment, and that required that he stop by my office to pick up my key, no small feat as it was about a 40 minute drive. So he brought lunch for the entire office, and for the first time I introduced him to my work world, to my close friend Lizzette and my boss. On my list of Things I Must Have in a Man is a man your friends don't think to themselves after meeting him, "What a total asshole!" and he seems to have passed that test with flying colours.
Oh, on top of all this, when I got home HE COOKED DINNER TOO. I can't begin to tell you what a paradigm shift (for lack of a less hackneyed phrase) that was for me. He.cooked.dinner.for.ME. (or for us, rather) Are you paying attention universe????
This is so very, very different from what I knew in the past. And so much more satisfying.
Amazing. Two posts from me in one weekend. I guess I can chalk it up to having a very good one!
On Saturday, in addition to my usual grocery shopping, I also drove down to Delray Beach to my favorite little local gourmet market, The Boys. There are so many yummy things there. My last trip in mid-August for my birthday I scooped up a fabulous deal on an enormous (over two pounds) wheel of French brie for $3.99, and this time I bought half sour dill pickles, Tillamook sharp cheddar, shrimp pasta salad, tomato and mozzarella salad, and my favorite apple at the moment, Pink Lady, so by the time I got home and unpacked it all I felt all nesty and satisfied.
Sunday was even better. For the past ten days or so I've been talking with Doug, and when he asked me out for brunch I gladly accepted. And when I learned that he took the time to research to find the right place to go (instead of just suggesting places all of us locals know), and that when we met he gave me flowers, I was impressed, let me tell you. And the Eggsotic Bistro didn't disappoint. It's tiny, and lovely, and the Eggs Benedict were so yummy and pretty I said out loud how I could kick myself for not bringing my camera, to which he replied that he'd said the same thing when he left home. That made me laugh, and be glad I'm not the only person who brings her camera to restaurants!
And so we had a very leisurely time...one of those times where you want to freeze the moment to make it last just a little bit longer because it's so enjoyable. Meaty conversation with someone I felt comfortable with. And when it was all done, thank you texts were exchanged, and he told me he'd like to go out again.
Tomorrow is his birthday, so I'm planning to take him out for a drink. And now I'm the one researching the right place to go. And though I'm bringing my camera, I don't think I'll give him flowers...
