I know this feeling.

This morning I read a post on Facebook from a friend of mine, who's in a new relationship, and has just moved with her to a picturesque area and is glorying in the everyday joy of life as a consequence. And it made me pause a bit, and realise how long it's been since I've just savored the moment and been happy for the little things. You know, a roof over your head, food to eat, friends, a job you like, being alive for goodness sakes!

Ever since I started working in my new career, and especially since I started my latest job, where I am well treated, where I have no  plans to move from, I was in awe of the blessing it is. I have become self-sufficient, I have great friends, a big, safe apartment, a cat I love to bits, and I should feel the luckiest woman in the world! Well, I do, very often, but I feel I'm not being appreciative of that like I should be. Instead, what I think I'm feeling is somethig akin to restlessness, and of perhaps feeling life has settled into an all-too-familiar rut.

When I leave work every night, I will postpone going home until 8 or 9 pm, and the feeling that settles over my shoulders after work is what feels like aloneness more than anything else. I well remember this feeling even when I was married, of being alone in the world. I wonder if we all feel this? I sense that we do, unless we are too busy with children or some major life event to have the time to notice.

Maybe I need a challenge. And maybe I just need to kick myself in the arse to wake up and quit whining about feeling alone...